By Joe James
Looking for some anger management techniques to control chronic anger? If so, you are probably here because you see the destructive effects of out of control anger on your family or work life.
Chronic anger issues can destroy relationships and damage careers. Don’t let this happen to you. You can control your anger or you can let it control you.
Feeling angry at times is perfectly normal but most of us never learned effective anger management techniques when we were growing up and we certainly don’t see good examples in popular media! Yelling, screaming, throwing things or being passive-aggressive may feel good in the moment but they rarely improve the situation in the long run and they leave people feeling guilty, resentful or distant. Instead, try a few of the anger management techniques below, just for a week and see if you don’t like the outcomes.
The next time something makes you really angry, remember that you’re only seeing part of the picture. When we’re really angry, our minds zero in on the negative and ignore the positive aspects of the situation. I’m not saying you have to try to look for the positive side right away but remember that you don’t have all the information necessary to make a good decision at that moment. This is why it’s a good idea to postpone making any major decisions while you are angry.
Walk around the block, count to twenty and take deep breaths to give yourself the time and space needed to calm down before you do anything.
Next try practicing empathy and imagine what the other person may be thinking or feeling in this moment. You don’t have to fully understand their motivations but recognize that they are very likely feeling much anxiety and fear knowing how upset you are.
When you’ve calmed down try to talk about what you are feeling and why. Use “I” statements and try to avoid making them feel guilty or judged by starting sentences with “you always…” or “you know this or that”.
It’s not easy learning how to handle anger in non-destructive ways but it can improve your relationships drastically and make you a healthier, happier person. Learning a few anger management techniques can help turn things around for the better.
Go here to learn more about anger management techniques.
Dr. Joe James is a psychologist who is the developer of many online anger management classes.
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