I work at a group home with high-risk youth and I deal with negative behaviors on a daily basis. The youth that I counsel are usually angry because they are displaced from their families and many of them have not yet developed the skills that they need to manage their anger. The two techniques that we use at the group home to help the youth cope with their anger are: 1) Take a time out and 2) Journal
The Three Levels of Anger
There are three major levels of anger that you should teach your child to recognize. The first level is when they are relaxed and calm. The relaxed stage is the ideal stage and this is the stage that you want to try to get your child to maintain at all times. The second level is when your child starts to display signs that they are starting to get irritated. The third level is when your child reaches the explosive stage. The explosive stage is the stage that you would like to avoid because this is the stage when they lose control and their actions may lead to negative consequences.
#1 Take a Time Out
One technique that you can use to teach your child to how to calm down when they feel like they are becoming irritated or annoyed is to ask them to use their time out coping skill. Make sure that you have established a designated time out spot prior to giving your child a time out. The time out space can be the bed room, a corner that the child has decorated or just another room that is away from everyone else. When you give your child a time out, it going to be important that your child understands that they are not being punished.
You should make sure that your child understands that the reason why they are taking a time out is just to allow them enough time to calm down and return back to a relaxed state. After your child has been in time out for about twenty to thirty minutes you should sit down and talk with your child about how they are feeling and you should praise them for using their time out coping skill.
#2 Journal
Writing is a fantastic way that you can get your child to release their anger and return back to a calm and relaxed state of being. When you notice that your child is showing signs of becoming irritated, you should suggest that they use their writing coping skills. After your child finishes writing, it is going to be important that you sit down with them and allow them to read what it is that they wrote. You should listen without interrupting them and you should praise them for using their writing coping skill to calm down.
Antionette Tate M.Div, is a Inner Peace Expert who enjoys helping people to discover how to maintain their Inner Peace and how to live their life full joy. For more tips, she invites you to visit her blog “Inner Peace and Joy: Tips to Help You Maintain Inner Peace and Joy Daily” http://howtohaveasuccessfulday.blogspot.com
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