Author: Sandra Prior
Most reported violence against women is committed by their partners, but even if your man isn’t violent you aren’t safe. The World Health Organization recently reported that men are some of the most violent and aggressive creatures in the world. Whether you’re facing a furious stranger at a club because you spilt his drink, or having a row with your man, here’s how to handle the situation.
Talk and Walk
When you’re facing an aggressive man and the argument becomes threatening it’s best to remain calm and not rise to the bait. Many fights start over small things but escalate when two people keep challenging each other. People in an irrational state are not in their ‘thinking brain’ but in a more adrenaline-driven ‘fight-or-flight’ mode, so trying to rationalize with them is often useless.
Your words aren’t really being heard properly and telling someone to calm down when he is enraged is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Rather respond by asking him in a loud but controlled voice to stop what he is doing and demand that he leave you alone. If he doesn’t listen, state firmly that you are going somewhere else to take time out for everyone’s safety and give him a chance to calm down. Once he’s rational you can set some boundaries and ultimatums. If he’s your partner, insist that he take responsibility for his behavior and possibly get some support or learn anger-management techniques.
Punch Time
Sometimes words aren’t enough, though. Self-defense experts emphasizes that when a man is irrational any course of action could result in him becoming physical and you need to be prepared to defend yourself. Don’t be intimidated by his size – even if he’s bigger than you it doesn’t mean he’s better. If he becomes violent and backs you up against a wall, use the support to execute a self-defense technique to his ears, throat or eyes, or grab his private parts, hold tight and squeeze. Even without the support of a wall, go for his sensitive areas and hit hard.
It might not always be you on the receiving end of the rage, though. If your friend or boyfriend lands up in a fight, it’s just as important for you to remain calm and then go for help.
Things can get very messy when two men are fighting so I don’t recommend getting involved and throwing yourself in there. First make sure you’re in a safe spot and then draw attention to what is happening and get some people to help break it up. If the situation gets out of control but there’s no immediate help nearby, try to get hold of a pot plant, chair or something heavy and hit the ‘bad guy’ over the head with it. If there’s nothing around, get away from the situation and wait for help to arrive, but always try your best to draw attention to the situation, as these cases often land up in court and bystanders are called in to testify.
If the situation escalates and the police are called, it’s important to have a calm and rational person around to provide the proper facts. When the police are called to an incident where a fight has taken place, they usually ask the people involved to accompany them to the police station to deal with the matter.
In these cases, the best thing to do is remain calm so that they can properly assess who was in the wrong. Preference is given to cases in which women or children are involved so it’s important for women always to have all the emergency numbers with them in case situations such as these arise.
About the author: For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior’s online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu.
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